The Political Divide Widens in Its Approach to the Care of Our Children and the Value of Parents
Today’s Trend of Dehumanizing Parents
When I gather with friends, they say how they used to be able to get together with friends and family who supported a different political party. This ability to set politics aside and enjoy each other’s company and commonalities seems to be slipping away. The US is polarized more and more with each passing year. Much finger-pointing is coming from both parties, and they blame the other for any problems. There is little interest in gathering together in diverse groups. Instead, members of each party often demonize their family and friends who are in the opposite party. Those in the middle or independent may also be looked down upon as not having enough sense to join one side—their side—which they believe is the correct side.
Estrangements in the US are at an all-time high. Everyone I know has been discarded by someone over politics, religion, or, lately, the new ideology of gender identity. The division of families over politics and religion seemed to be a slow shutdown and deterioration of relationships over time, but gender ideology is usually a rapid severing. Even the name ROGD (rapid onset gender dysphoria) uses the word “rapid.” The kids are told by the new gender identity doctrine to go “no contact” with non-affirming parents. So not only does gender ideology quickly swoop into the lives of kids and their families, but the medicalization pathway of puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and gender-modifying surgeries is fast-tracked. Because safeguards to protect children and vulnerable young adults were removed in the US by transactivists, and because medical care is affirmation-only with no questioning allowed, the process of getting kids on a pathway to medicalize their bodies is incredibly fast now.
Transactivists have been busy removing parental rights in schools, medicine, law, and other sectors, perhaps hoping everyone is too preoccupied with other matters to notice. They may also get applause for passing laws diminishing parental rights as the culture trends toward the devaluation of parents, believing that children know best. And when a parent speaks up with their concerns about social transitioning in schools and the next step of medicalization of their children’s bodies, they are often dismissed and even dehumanized. Parents have lost their rights in almost every US state, particularly within schools. First, activists take away parental rights, and sometimes, social services remove the kids from homes where the parents have not agreed with altered language demands such as opposite-sex pronouns and new names or have not agreed with proposed medicalization procedures for gender identities. Next up, it is suggested that parents could even be charged with a crime for misgendering. Once parents are dehumanized, you can justify doing anything to them. A recent social media comment that “the parents should be shot” appeared in a news article about parents suing a school for socially transitioning their daughter without their knowledge. Death threats are the ultimate bully abuse and fear-inducing scare tactic. And yet so many believe trans rights are progressive and kind while many parents bend to the pressure and emotional blackmail or go into hiding, taking extraordinary steps to protect themselves if they express gender-critical views.
Sometimes, parents watch their child slip away so quickly and become someone they no longer recognize, and the parents are left spinning and grieving and wondering what happened and why it was so fast. Young children weren’t even given time to grow up and mature before their bodies and future health were altered irreversibly. A whole industry has been set up to capitalize on kids and vulnerable young adults, creating medical patients for life with drastic body interventions while simultaneously dismissing the parents’ concerns that medicalizing a child’s gender identity with drugs and surgeries might not be addressing the root cause of distress or be best for the child’s long-term well-being.
Family relationships fall apart too. Parents who are in their darkest hours watch as some previously close family and friends turn away from them. Lifetime or decades-long relationships vanish before the parent can blink. Those who have decided that trans is to be supported—because it is purported to be “the new gay” and should therefore be championed and celebrated—declare themselves to know what is best. Social justice proponents usually disregard the past or underlying issues that the child might have. The parents who believe they know their kids best and want their child’s body left alone are demonized as transphobic. Parents are devalued first, then they often find themselves fully dehumanized as time goes on, and they are labeled by radicals as ignorant bigots, possibly disposable.
It seems like we have evolved into a dystopian world. Parents who disagree with medicalizing their kids with drugs and surgeries and who want their children to have the opportunity to accept their natural bodies are being discarded, along with their children’s healthy body parts and healthy reproductive organs. There seems to be no space or consideration for those who hold differing beliefs and advocate for non-invasive care for gender dysphoria and confusion.
For the first time in my sixty-plus years, I am witnessing a rampant, extreme ideology enter communities where people previously lived together in relative harmony. Activists with a queer theory agenda seem to aim at blurring and busting norms. They also seem to be disassembling truths, such as sex is binary as female and male at birth, and they suggest that sex can be changed after birth. Transactivists attempt to confuse the public that “trans” rights should be lumped in with LGB (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual) rights. These groups, although currently forced teamed with TQ+ (Transgender, Queer, plus additional identities), do not go well together, as many in the LGB community are now vocalizing, and some organizations advocate for the separation of the letters/groups. LGB is who you are attracted to, but TQ+ is identity-focused. Many LGB parents and organizations are concerned about gender medicine and the censorship of those who push back on the rapid transing of gay and neurodivergent kids, as well as those who might have underlying comorbidities.
Gender ideology began to systematically work its way into all areas of society, imploding communities family by family when the most distressed and vulnerable family members were influenced to embrace the ideology. The ripple effect extends beyond the family, as those who were previously protected with separate, safe spaces are affected as well. Some sports are allowing boys and men to compete in girls’ and women’s divisions, destroying fairness in athletics. Safe spaces for women are evaporating, too, such as women’s prisons, where men who self-identify as women can be housed there, leading to documented cases of trans men assaulting and raping women inmates. What a mess!
Activist agendas seem to want to confuse people and cause chaos, fighting, and unnecessary problems where they had not previously existed. Dismantling the reality of sex as female and male and attaching “TQ+” to LGB is creating havoc. It seems that few people ask why a child or young adult self-diagnoses as trans and why they developed feelings of being born in the wrong body. Many parents believe that a differential diagnosis, options for non-invasive treatment, and safeguards are important and appropriate for comprehensive care, yet these protections have been discarded, along with the parents and many in the LGB community who don’t believe in medicalizing gender ideology. How did we let transactivists undo common sense and ethics? Activist agendas seem to be running the show unchecked.
Dehumanization of those we don’t understand seems to be in vogue again today. Democrats and Republicans often say the opposing party is evil. Very few lean in, seek to understand others with differing views, and strive to find ways to acknowledge each other and work together on issues that separate us. I am politically independent and have not segregated myself on one side of the divide, as I have a multitude of friends in each political party. That being said, I will admit that I am troubled by the left and its lack of understanding of the need for comprehensive care for kids instead of gender affirmation-only care. Perhaps those who support gender affirmation-only care do not know that activists removed safeguards before puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones are prescribed. Perhaps they assume there are protections in place before drastic bodily interventions are performed. I will give some benefit of the doubt that many have been influenced by activist agendas without really knowing that children are not receiving comprehensive care or natural treatment alternatives. The transactivist platform uses nice words to describe drastic medicalization procedures such as top and bottom surgeries, and it adds the words hate or hateful to any proposed protective policies/laws or people who advocate for safeguards for minors. This language causes many people to look no further into it and blindly follow along.
The parent support groups that I am involved with have no political affiliation. Yet, many lifelong Democrats within those groups feel betrayed by their party because their families are not supported with policies and safeguards for their children. Not only are they grieving the loss of their child to gender ideology and medicalization, but they are also grieving the loss of their belief in the political party that used to mean so much to them. These disillusioned Democrats see that their beloved party succumbed to being pawns for activist agendas. Many former loyal Democrats are shifting their vote to the Republican ticket, which, at the moment, seems to be the only party interested in protective safeguards for minors, including limiting surgeries such as mastectomies and genital removal for kids. Unfortunately, activists change the language of protective measures in media and news outlets to misleading and inaccurate descriptions, such as “anti-LGBTQ+ proposals” or “hate bills/laws” in order to sway the public to perceive protections as hurting kids instead of keeping them from harm. If you call radical surgeries that remove healthy body parts on children “gender affirming care for minors,” it sounds nice. If you see photos of these surgeries and understand the long-term ramifications and potential complications, they don’t look like kind and caring options for kids.
An example of someone who lost faith in their political identity is Texas State Representative Shawn Thierry, who switched to the Republican party. Thierry bravely spoke out. “As a lifelong Democrat who was raised by Democrats, I have watched with dismay as the party I once knew has drifted far from its roots. It has become almost unrecognizable—radicalized and increasingly out of touch with the values that millions of everyday Americans hold dear.”
“Thierry also addressed the “cancel culture” of the political left after she expressed support for parental rights on a range of issues. “This is not the party I grew up with. I have witnessed firsthand how the so-called ‘liberal’ left now stifles thoughtful debate, silencing dissent with an iron fist—demanding blind allegiance to ideology, where one must ‘comply or be cast out.’ This is not the Democratic Party I once supported and represented.”
It is imperative that we understand what is really going on with medicalizing children for gender identities after the child or young adult disassociates from their natural body, without anyone but the parent questioning why. How did Planned Parenthood become one of the largest suppliers of testosterone? Why are surgeons rushing to cement in a new gender identity before allowing time, maturity, and perspective to occur or before the kid has any natural treatment alternatives or therapy first?
Parents hope that soon people will cease blindly supporting an activist agenda of gender affirmation-only care, which immediately agrees to medicalize their kids without any investigation into the root cause of their distress. The number of groups and organizations that have joined parents in concern is steadily growing larger. And some dissenters are not vocal but are quietly quitting the medicalization direction. A Substack post by LGBT Courage Coalition recently described this direction. “Quiet quitting, in the context of pediatric gender medicine, refers to a growing trend of individuals, corporations, and policymakers gradually disengaging from the practice of medicalizing minors who experience gender distress. This involves implementing strategies to reduce the demand for such services and to increase safeguards against potential harms.”
We must work together to dispel myths and misunderstandings about those who are critical of medicalizing gender identities. On behalf of parents who are still standing but dehumanized, we appreciate those who see us as worthy of inclusion and respect and as courageous protectors of our children’s well-being. It is never too late to join us in advocating for better care for our kids, the future of society. Our children’s bodies and future health and well-being shouldn’t be politicalized. Let’s unite the current political divide and work within our own communities to gather with friends and family who support different political parties. We should be able to discuss these critical issues for the well-being of our kids. No matter what political party you are most aligned with, you can let your representatives and candidates know how they can best represent you and your views on these issues. Radical theory and ideology need to be dismissed, not the parents. Thank you.
Lisa Shultz advocates for the rights of parents and women. She is deeply concerned about the influence of gender ideology and the lack of comprehensive, ethical care for children and vulnerable adults. She is the author of The Trans Train: A Parent’s Perspective on Transgender Medicalization and Ideology.