I have been a fan of author Byron Katie for many years. Her four simple but powerful questions might be helpful to someone who believes in gender ideology. She asks:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Let me address a few types of groups and their beliefs that might benefit from asking the four questions for self-reflection.
Boys/men who identify as girls/women (often called “trans” girls or “trans” women) and say that feeling like a girl or a woman means one is a girl or a woman.
Girls/women who identify as boys/men (often called “trans” boys or “trans” men) and say that feeling like a boy or a man means one is a boy or a man.
Those who say that children can be born in the wrong body.
Those who say that standards of care, policies, laws, and legislation that aim to protect children from medicalizing gender identity with drugs and surgeries are hateful, anti-LGBTQ+, and attempting to propagate genocide for trans people.
Trans-identifying children who believe their non-affirming parents are hateful, abusive, toxic transphobes that should be cut off unless their demands for new pronouns, names, drugs, and surgical access are given without question or discussion.
Politicians who fight to keep boys and men competing in girls’ and women’s sports because they seemingly value the boy or man’s feelings more than fairness in sports.
Doctors who believe they are helping or saving children when they provide puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries that remove healthy body parts immediately upon the demand of the child.
Doctors, medical professionals, and therapists who believe that underlying issues, distress, or comorbidities are not important to address and that the top priority is affirmation only and rapid admission into the gender medicine pathway of medicalization.
Educators and counselors who hide information, affirm, and socially transition kids without notifying the parents or considering the parents’ input because they believe they know more than the parents.
People who value the feelings of a few men and say those feelings are more important than the safety, dignity, privacy, needs, and respect of all women.
People who believe that birth certificates are fluid documents that should be altered for feelings instead of being the truthful recording of the facts of the birth.
Now it’s your turn, readers. I want to hear from you. Please leave a comment about what type of belief might benefit from doing the work of Byron Katie’s four questions.
Lisa Shultz advocates for parents’ and women’s rights. She is deeply concerned about the influence of gender identity ideology and the lack of comprehensive, ethical care for children and vulnerable adults.
You've certainly covered the types of people who should consider these questions to avoid harming the minds and bodies of young, vulnerable individuals, to avoid destroying families, and to avoid violating women's and girls' rights.
I have asked myself those questions in connection with my own strong belief that:
Nobody is born with the necessity to be treated and referred to as if they are the opposite sex and chemically and/or surgically altered to appear the opposite sex in order to have any semblance of happiness or to avoid torment and/or suicide.
Let me answer:
Is it true?
I see no evidence that anyone has such needs, and no logic to it. While such bizarre needs could theoretically exist for someone, I cannot reasonably or rationally consider acting on this allegation any more than I could throw my child off a roof because she insists that she needs to fly and just needs a head start by being thrown from a great height. In a theoretical sense, my daughter could have the ability to fly and just need a head start - but that does go against everything we know about the human body and I see no evidence of it. I see this as a good analogy.
Can I absolutely know that it is true?
Again, no, because it is unprovable (and falsifiable). Thus, if there were no possible harm that could come from catering to these false needs, or if the harm was tiny and insignificant, I could let people believe the needs exist. However, because of the potential for such great harm if I am right but people act upon this fallacy anyway (harm to bodies, minds and women's rights), I must insist that either what I believe (that no such needs exist) is true or that we need to act as if it is true.
How do I react, what happens when I believe that thought?
When I believe there are no such needs, for most of my life, nothing happened because most everyone agreed and all was well. Nowadays, believing there are no such needs has made me delay my daughter's medicalization as much as possible and it has made me keep her at least slightly tethered to reality. It makes me angry at those who insist both that such needs exist and that we must act on such needs immediately, without thought and without any weighing of pros and cons. It makes me speak out as much as possible in the hopes that less harm will be done.
Who would I be without that thought?
I would be someone who goes along with an illogical, harmful ideology. I would be someone who cannot protect my daughter at all and who participates in harming her. I would be less angry, but also less aware.
- After inquiry, I'll stick with my belief.
We literally have all the facts on our side!