Balancing the Conversation about “Trans”
Let’s Listen to Detransitioners (and Parents, Too)
Many people who chose to identify as “trans” have now taken the exit ramp of gender ideology. Those who have exited this belief system and ceased identifying as the opposite sex might be referred to as desisters, detransitioners, or ex-trans. And some may switch to identifying as non-binary as a way to reconnect with the part of themselves they previously rejected. It is challenging to completely disown, disassociate from, or reject one’s biological sex; therefore, identifying as non-binary may be a step toward restoring balance. The longing for what was lost or the growing need to heal oneself may shift the individual’s energy toward new behaviors and different choices.
The drugs and surgeries a trans-identifying individual might have taken and undergone for years are difficult, if not impossible, to repair. Some regretters remain stuck, and some move away from the extreme of opposite-sex presentation by traveling through, or remaining, in a limbic space of ambivalence as they reintegrate with reality and truth-based living.
What is becoming increasingly clear to those who thought identifying as “trans” would solve their underlying distress is that the root issues they might have attempted to escape from followed them into their new identity declaration and presentation. Since those underlying comorbidities, dysfunctions, and distresses were usually not addressed or treated, those unexamined issues eventually rise from their suppression and beg to be acknowledged and healed. In addition to the unresolved, persistent conditions, a growing number of side effects from cross-sex hormones present over time. When a person blocks or disrupts the body’s innate physiological programming and function, it eventually backfires, leading to a multitude of adverse effects that cannot be ignored.
Enabling harm on demand while ignoring the root causation of distress or mental/emotional issues and disorders is being called out. A recent example of voicing concern comes from the American Association of Plastic Surgeons. SEGM covers this association’s recent statement.
Detransitioners, or ex-trans people, are discovering the truth and exposing the falsehoods of gender ideology. They’re filing and winning lawsuits that counter the misguided approach of altering healthy bodies with drugs and surgeries as the first treatment for distress instead of the last resort. Doctors and therapists are now being held accountable for suggesting irreversible, cosmetic body modifications to minors and young adults. LGB Alliance USA discusses “What a 2 Million Detransition Lawsuit Really Means.”
Black-and-white thinking abounds when it comes to the idea that a child or vulnerable adult can change or erase their natal sex. Trans activists demand bodily autonomy to remove healthy body parts and reproductive organs, as well as unfettered access to cross-sex hormones, without protective safeguards, restrictions, or challenges of any kind. The movement of “trans positivity” clouds the dark aspect of surgical complications, infections, and pain, and it hides the negative ramifications of tampering with healthy physiological programming. Compromising normal organ function with powerful drugs is likely to have negative repercussions.
After the dust settles in the years to come, those who participated in blocking, interrupting, and altering natural child development and the body’s innate functioning will face intense scrutiny and a reckoning. They will be questioned for removing healthy body parts and reproductive organs from minors and young adults. It will become increasingly clear that those decisions were not in the children’s or young adults’ best interests, nor in their long-term health or well-being.
If you still don’t understand why many parents and professionals don’t support gender theory and its medicalization pathway, it may be because each side is speaking a different “language.” I’ve written many articles on the subject and don’t need to repeat that content here. As a parent, I do not have a “lived experience” as a trans-identifying child or young adult; however, I do have the lived experience of a mother who has witnessed firsthand this movement tearing my family apart. I have offered viewpoint balance to excessive trans “affirmation only” policies that have undermined the sensibilities of the public and eclipsed the harm that has been perpetuated upon vulnerable kids and young adults.
The current forced compliance and blanket affirmation of gender identity declarations must stop. We need to expand the discussion about the complexity of the gender identity movement. Critical thinking and analysis are needed to address the multitude of reasons for a “trans” or “queer” identification. Discernment is needed and necessary to return to common sense around this contentious topic.
Furthermore, I need to mention the cultish behavior of gender ideology. Brush up on your understanding of cults with Our Duty’s discussion, “Is It a Cult?” and an article in the PITT Substack titled “Cults: Scientology, The Unification Church, The People’s Temple and Gender Ideology.”
Cult members use the word “escape” when they manage to disconnect from the cult, and detransitioners also describe their exit from gender ideology as “an escape.” The article says, “When members of these ideologies stop believing, they refer to their new revelation as an ‘escape’ from what they now consider a cult, and that they were living a lie.”
The rampant cancel and cut-off culture leading to estrangement is also explained: “Only abusive cults demand that members stop all contact with family members who are non-believers. This is a defining attribute of a cult.… Gender ideology, like many cults, is a family destroyer.” Many families know this all too well.
And of course, detransitioning is a nuanced issue, and detransitioners can explain additional reasons they have decided to move away from trans identification. The topic is complex, and we may need translators to bridge the gap between the narratives. If trans-identifying kids and parents speak different languages, and if trans activists and those advocating for protecting children and vulnerable adults cannot understand or they block out the language each other speaks, then ex-trans young adults may be able to speak to each group using language each can hear and understand.
It’s time to listen to detransitioners. Ex-trans kids can illuminate the blind spots in the gender identity narrative.
Additional resources:
Harmed by Medical Transition: Four Stages of Detransition
How many kids must be “harmed by medical transition” before we stop affirming, enabling, and cheering on more harm?
Trans activists say that detransitioners weren’t really “true trans,” or they label them as traitors and other diminishing descriptions. Instead, let’s give detransitioners a chance to speak, and then let’s listen carefully. It’s time for balance and the inclusion of multiple perspectives. On behalf of our kids and young adults, let’s discuss this complex movement openly and help prevent further harm to individuals, families, and communities.
Lisa Shultz advocates for parents’ and women’s rights. She doesn’t believe those rights should be subservient to estrangement or gender ideology. She remains deeply concerned about the influence of gender identity ideology and the lack of comprehensive, ethical care for children and vulnerable adults. She is also deeply committed to civil discourse rather than suppression and silencing.